If I didn’t know the source, I would have almost thought this was a real article:

Look, we’ve tried, we really have, but it’s simply not possible to set the bar any lower[…]

the Science Channel issued a statement claiming that it currently airs more than 150 programming hours that are tangentially, and often laughably, related to science, and that staff members are unable to bring themselves to make those hours even more asinine.

It’s certainly distressing to see “science” channels like Discovery increasingly geared towards dumbing science down, or pseudo-science woo, when real science can be so crazy, so exciting and so important to every day life. I mean c’mon, you can’t tell me exploding duck penises wouldn’t make great television…